Get Your Emotionally Unavailable Man Over His Commitment Phobia

Let me show you a few things you can use right away to improve your relationship with a man and have him wanting to open up and STAY OPEN with you.

If you’ve struggled in your relationship and your man has a fear of commitment, or is more on the “emotionally available” or “uncommitted” side of things, you’ll want to read on.

Let’s start here…

Do you ever simply wonder why it is that so many men predictably do that thing where they “withdraw” and pull away from you all of a sudden- just as you were getting close?

Isn’t it strange how men always seem to do this just as you start getting really close and intimate?

It’s as though getting really close scares him off, and so he pulls away. (*Hint – this is what most women THINK is what’s happening and that their man suffers from commitment phobia, but it isn’t the whole story.)

So what’s going on here? And what does it mean?

And more importantly… what can you do about it so you don’t have to keep waiting and wondering when your guy is suddenly going to pull away from you without warning?

Glad you asked…

One of the very best things you can do to make sure that the relationship you’re building with a man continues to GROW DEEPER and that he stays interested and attracted, is to get into “sync” with how a man grows more emotionally and physically “bonded” to you as time goes on.

The truth is that men have a different what I call “Relationship Tempo” when it comes to commitment. Commitment works differently for a man.

I talk about this in detail in my Catch Him & Keep Him eBook.

If you don’t know how to easily stay in sync with a man as you grow closer and closer (and have him stay in sync with you) then odds are you’re going to end up becoming the unlucky woman who’s trying to force or CONVINCE your man to COMMIT.

Do yourself a favor and don’t fall into this trap. It doesn’t have to be that way, once you learn what tons of other women have learned about how men really and truly get to a place where he’s asking YOU to commit to HIM.

Why Men Pull Away & Fear Commitment In The First Place

When it comes to why the man in your life withdraws, the question you need to ask yourself is… what is withdrawal, what does it mean, and why do so many men do it?

Here’s a secret for you-

Men grow closer and more committed when they have space in their relationship.

I’ll explain more about what this means by giving you one of the most common examples that women tell me about.

It’s the age old “Man Comes Home From Work” story that every women who’s been with a man has experienced.

Man comes home from work. He’s tired and had a long day. Woman is wanting to connect with him and wants to talk. Things go badly. The end.

You know this story. Every woman does. Let me ask you…

How does a man feel and act after he’s been doing something intense?

I’ll tell you – he’s feeling kind of “spent” and empty, and he’s ready to slip into that zone where he just wants to completely BE.

Which means… he doesn’t want to do anything more, talk about anything more, think about anything more, or even FEEL anything more at that moment.

He just wants to “be”. He’s in a detached kind of state in his mind and body where he doesn’t ENGAGE in much of anything around him. (this isn’t as bad or as “negative” as it might sound right now)

Now, for some women who understand this about men and don’t take it personally when a man is this way… it’s almost cute and amusing when a man is this way. *ok, only for a few minutes at a time ;)

Unless the man you’re with is one of those guys who starts to “overdo it” and ends up on the couch being lazy and staring at the TV zoned out for hours at a time.

Not a good look for a man.

I’m not talking about these kinda cats. (err, men… lol)

I’m talking about men who still like to have that kind of isolated “me time” and close down… but they do it in moderation.

Here’s the point…

For women who DON’T know much about how men are, they end up taking this behavior from a man personally, feeling hurt or unappreciated.

When, instead they could understand that as much as it’s THEIR need to connect and be open and intimate to feel full and good, the man’s need to feel full in good is the exact opposite.

To put it down in simplest terms-

Men rejuvenate and are filled through what you might think of a Emptiness, and by turning everything off for a bit. This gets them back to “center.”

Women on the other hand rejuvenate and are filled by Fullness, and by deeply connecting. This gets them back to “center.”

Knowing this, how can your relationship start to encompass your needs AND the needs of the man in your life so it supports you both?

Instead of this seeming conflict of needs driving you to argue and both feel like they aren’t having their needs met or being listened to.

It’s not a ridiculous expectation to want a man to connect with you when you want to connect with him.

But if you care about getting the kind of RESPONSE you want with a man who’s being “distant” or in this kind of detached “zone”… then you need to make sure that the way you start off communicating with him is the kind of communicating that will make him want to open up and start communicating back with you.

As strange as it sounds, giving a man SPACE if a man is distant is exactly the thing that will get you more connection and intimacy from him the very second he’s filled himself back up and show up 100% with you.

Men are most likely to make a commitment, and to become more emotionally and physically committed to you when they feel they have the space and freedom to take space and “pull away” in the time they need.

Otherwise, they unconsciously fear that a woman and a relationship will drain them and consume them.

How can you and your boyfriend be a source of joy and rejuvenation in each other’s lives instead?

Often times simply asking this new question above is all you need to make the first shift in your relationship.

Oh, and by the way… if you want my very best insights on how and why men commit and how to get your man to commit on a deep physical and emotional level forever, I recommend you check out my program From Casual To Committed.

I’ll talk with you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian

Tagged as: commitment phobia, emotionally unavailable