Comments on: Stop Your Attempts At Understanding Men http://blog.catchhimandkeephim.com/understanding-men/stop-your-attempts-at-understanding-men/ Sharing secrets from inside the mind of men on what men really want in love & relationships Sat, 01 May 2010 15:11:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Jenny http://blog.catchhimandkeephim.com/understanding-men/stop-your-attempts-at-understanding-men/comment-page-1/#comment-525 Jenny Tue, 23 Mar 2010 17:35:39 +0000 http://blog.catchhimandkeephim.com/?p=353#comment-525 I can appreciate 100% what you are doing by coaching women to avoid common mistakes that prevent them from the relationships they want. "Correct" dating behaviors are a total mystery to me. I truly don't get it. I can readily listen to advice but at the same time am so aware of all the "mistakes" I am constantly supposedly making. And if I think about this I get hopeless and want to just throw my hands in the air. How do people ever get together? Nobody comes into a relationship "perfect" or "mistake-free." But then I wonder if "mistakes" are just the aspects of the ways women operate which naturally turn men off. And vice versa: the "mistakes" guys make are just the aspects of ways men operate which naturally turn women off. Is our society simply so "spoiled" with options, so to speak, that nobody will tolerate or move forward with someone who makes a "mistake" that turns off attraction? Very true--I don't want to be making these "mistakes" that turn off a guy I'm interested in. But then I also think--well, I'm human, and I happen to be female, and this is a very common female response, whether the guy likes it or not. I'm willing to learn and change, but if the guy is so touchy that he walks off with mistakes I am making (albeit, ready to learn/improve from), then I'm not so sure I'm interested in such a guy. We are all humans, the guy and girl--we are all works in progress. Don't we all need and want someone who extends grace? This feels too complicated for me. That being said, I can see the huge benefits of your coaching to help avoid these, so for that I am grateful. I just question the way our society seems to have such short tolerance to work with what appears to be simply the way the other gender operates. I wish we would have more tolerance to have patience with each other and learn how to relate better WITH someone, instead of as a condition for getting together with someone in the first place. I can appreciate 100% what you are doing by coaching women to avoid common mistakes that prevent them from the relationships they want. “Correct” dating behaviors are a total mystery to me. I truly don’t get it. I can readily listen to advice but at the same time am so aware of all the “mistakes” I am constantly supposedly making. And if I think about this I get hopeless and want to just throw my hands in the air. How do people ever get together? Nobody comes into a relationship “perfect” or “mistake-free.” But then I wonder if “mistakes” are just the aspects of the ways women operate which naturally turn men off. And vice versa: the “mistakes” guys make are just the aspects of ways men operate which naturally turn women off. Is our society simply so “spoiled” with options, so to speak, that nobody will tolerate or move forward with someone who makes a “mistake” that turns off attraction? Very true–I don’t want to be making these “mistakes” that turn off a guy I’m interested in. But then I also think–well, I’m human, and I happen to be female, and this is a very common female response, whether the guy likes it or not. I’m willing to learn and change, but if the guy is so touchy that he walks off with mistakes I am making (albeit, ready to learn/improve from), then I’m not so sure I’m interested in such a guy. We are all humans, the guy and girl–we are all works in progress. Don’t we all need and want someone who extends grace? This feels too complicated for me. That being said, I can see the huge benefits of your coaching to help avoid these, so for that I am grateful. I just question the way our society seems to have such short tolerance to work with what appears to be simply the way the other gender operates. I wish we would have more tolerance to have patience with each other and learn how to relate better WITH someone, instead of as a condition for getting together with someone in the first place.

]]> By: Lauren http://blog.catchhimandkeephim.com/understanding-men/stop-your-attempts-at-understanding-men/comment-page-1/#comment-264 Lauren Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:03:26 +0000 http://blog.catchhimandkeephim.com/?p=353#comment-264 I am going to say this staight out - I think women spend way to much time trying to figure out men - what they are thinking, what was meant by what they said or did, or didn't say or do. I've been there. It is disempowering. The best remedy: get a life! Now, I want to make it clear, I did not say women spend too much time considering, interacting with, and being present with the men in their lives. These are all healthy, emotionally mature behaviors. I think that is what you are pointing out. Both people need to be engaged. If not, it is not really a quality relationship. If we stay in a relationship where the other person is not engaged we need to ask ourselves what is going on inside of us because at that point it is NOT about the other person. When we resolve what is happening in us and deal with that, we can then move on to being with someone who is present in the relationship. Much more fun! Thank you for all you do to help others understand and find more joy in life and love. I am going to say this staight out – I think women spend way to much time trying to figure out men – what they are thinking, what was meant by what they said or did, or didn’t say or do. I’ve been there. It is disempowering. The best remedy: get a life!

Now, I want to make it clear, I did not say women spend too much time considering, interacting with, and being present with the men in their lives. These are all healthy, emotionally mature behaviors. I think that is what you are pointing out. Both people need to be engaged. If not, it is not really a quality relationship. If we stay in a relationship where the other person is not engaged we need to ask ourselves what is going on inside of us because at that point it is NOT about the other person. When we resolve what is happening in us and deal with that, we can then move on to being with someone who is present in the relationship. Much more fun!

Thank you for all you do to help others understand and find more joy in life and love.

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